If.... Then.

Man, first blog since February!!! I thought about writing so many times, and I still need to write out Luke’s birth story…. However, each time I sat down to write, I was overwhelmed with my inability to put into words how we were all doing. As most of you have seen, I have the cutest two kids on the planet who are doing amazing and growing big and strong. But, Team Bivins has just been in a hard season. And by a hard season, I mean a season of suck. I don’t really know how else to explain it. I’ve gone back and forth with feeling completely at peace in the suck, to being so over it and frustrated. I feel like my words are ready, so here is our Team Bivins Update.

Katelynn: Katelynn has been doing amazing. We recently worked on one of her scars a little bit and pulled out some tissue that was preventing her from healing. It was rough, but it’s looking so much better. She still has an affected lip, but I’m still praying for it! The challenge we’ve experienced recently is re-occurring ear infections. Since we finally got her off antibiotics, she’s had them non-stop. We are going back to our friendly ENT next week to discuss tubes. I hate the thought of it only because she is still so sensitive to doctors and genuinely terrified. I’m praying we can fix the issue and be DONE for a while. More than anything, I want her to get a break. She has adjusted to life with her “bubu” so well! I’m proud of her and love her sweet, gentle spirit. She is very quiet and gets shy, but when she warms up to you she wants to do all the things!!!

Luke: What a GOOD baby! He smiles nonstop and is the light of my life. The first month and a half of his life was pretty rough. He had silent reflux and would scream uncontrollably in pain. It was a struggle to determine why, get the right sleeping positions, beg for a little calm and feel so sad that he was miserable. We put him on medication and it’s improved so much. I am unable to eat dairy or soy due to his sensitivities, so that has been a challenge. But, little boy is worth it!

Adam:  It’s been a tough year to be in oil. However, God has provided for us in so many ways during lulls. Adam started feeling sick a little after Katelynn’s surgery. The feeling persisted to become very painful. He would have weekends where he could barely stand to get out of bed- right around the time we brought Luke home. When Luke was 2 weeks old, he had a scope to try to determine why he had pain. He then had additional testing and they determined his gallbladder needed to be removed. About a month ago, Adam had surgery to remove it. It has been SO wonderful. It was very difficult to have him so sick with a sick newborn. He is slowly gaining back strength and working to gain back some of the 40 pounds he lost.

Me: I am doing well and work is going great. Transitioning back was difficult, but I basically work with the best people on the planet. I have struggled some with having babies so close together and recovering from another c section, but am making it one day at a time. This week I’ve had a few complications and will probably have to have surgery soon to correct an errant birth control device.

Did you keep up? That is a running tally of 3 surgeries in 6 months (possibly 2 more on the way) a fussy toddler, a sick kid, a sick husband, work challenges, medical bills and a hormonal wife. What a ride.

Last night in our girls Bible study we were watching a video from Beth Moore around the story of Esther. She was teaching on the idea that we have fears that overwhelm us in our thinking. We live our lives thinking “If (Insert terrible thing here) happens, then (Oh no terrible response)” I have been and am so guilty of thinking those thoughts. Of being human and thinking God is faithful and everything is ok because it will all be okay in the end. Well, true…. But, what happens when it’s really hard along the way? I’m figuring that out day by day. I’m being thankful for the little things. For our ability to look to his promises when we keep getting frustrating situations, for family who is so supportive and has saved our tail so many times, for Sheena living here for the summer and being an extra set of hands. I’m learning a ton about him, about myself and learning to accept where we are. I've thought so many times... "Sheesh, what else can go wrong" (I've stopped that scary question). But truly the answer is "If (Insert terrible thing here) happens, then GOD". The end.

“Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

GREAT is thy Faithfulness”

Oops....

Week 37

Welp, I've been a blogger failure. Each week I have been meaning to do it, and other things have happened. Mainly just getting big carrying a baby. The pregnancy continues to progress normally and heathily. I'm so thankful for that! I definately feel like I have a large human inside of me. I am starting to struggle sleeping, I get my waddle on a lot, and by the end of the day most things hurt. However, he appears to be right on track! I don't get any progression checked (since I will have a c section) and no ultrasound to determine size. We are flying blind! Adam and I really feel like he's larger than Katelynn, but there's obviously no true measure.We are scheduled for a c-section on Feb 24th at 7am. The doctor says if I go in to labor before we will just take him, however, neither Adam nor I think that will happen. 14 more days!

A few weeks ago, the best friends ever threw us a baby shower to celebrate Luke. It was baseball themed, and literally could not have been more perfect. It was so fun to see our friends and to share the exitement with everyone! We also were able to keep some of the decor for his nursery.

Adam has been on me about finding more margin in my days, and this past weekend I spent some time with my horse. It's so hard not to feel guilty when you are a working mom about taking precious minutes away from your babies. But, I'm learning more and more it's SO important for me. I have amazing friends, and a Bible study that I'm so involved in where we meet while our babies are asleep. But, taking that alone time and just recharging has been awesome. Now to keep it up....

 


Stink stink
Man- what a busy little human! Katelynn is EVERYWHERE and into everything. She rearranges anything she can get her hands on and LOVES to "help". She got an ear infection a few weeks ago, and her and mommy were sick at the same time. During that time she was on 2 antibiotics, but handled it like a champ. She is saying Momma, Dadda, uhoh, ohhhh, dog, banana, tickle-tickle, dankuu (thank you), baaaa (ball). She can tell you where your and her ears, eyes, nose and mouth are. She can sign "more", which she uses any time she wants something. She gives me kisses when I ask... Unless she's not in the mood and she licks me in the mouth. She can tell you what a dog and bear say, and can nod yes and no.... and still refuses to walk unassisted haha. She loves to climb anything she can find, she loves to bounce right on my belly and if she wants you to do something she will grab your hand and make you do it. If you tell her it's time to go bye bye she will start waving at you and go to the door. You better be ready! Or, she will come and FIND you and make sure you know it was time to go.


She has at least 12 teeth, she is getting more somewhere, but it's very dangerous for me to check anymore, so I don't. On the medical front- her face is finally starting to heal. We are really excited. I can see her little jaw line again! The abscess has moved under her chin more, but the incision is finally smaller and the swelling has subsided. We are currently on 1/2 of our previous antibiotics dose, and will probably attempt to cycle off again soon. She has not shown any additional swelling to show that the bacteria spread before we removed it, we continue to pray that she gets off meds fully and that she doesn't have any additional affected nodes. 

Zombie Bivins

Week 32 is here!

Luke is growing growing like crazy. I am beyond the "maybe she's just put on a few pounds" part of pregnancy. Now, I'm getting the "whoa, when are you due"??

It's such a mental battle. I feel SO ready to be done, and yet when I look, I have a really long way to go. After talking to some friends last night, I realized it's because by the time I deliver Luke I will have been pregnant for 18 out of 24 months.We found our we were pregnant on Adam's birthday 2012, and I will deliver Luke the week of his birthday 2014. I do even better with a newborn than I do a pregnant body. I am craving a break. IT doesn't help that I had the flu over Christmas. There are no words for how terrible that was. I am still trying to recover from being tired, and there were a few moments that I just decided my life was over.

I am now going to the doctor every other week- boring, but necessary. He is measuring perfectly, and all my numbers are in line. We will be scheduling my c-section Feb  23 or 24th. UNLESS she is on call that weekend, then Luke will be born on Adam's birthday- Feb 22nd. :)

Pregnancy has started to get more painful, I've been working out and walking on my treadmill. Seems to help.

I took some comparison pregnancy pictures between Katelynn and Luke at 31 weeks. I think it's fun to compare. I feel like I'm carrying better with Luke, he is higher and I am definitely rounder(Katelynn in the blue, Luke in the grey)

 

 Katelynn

We are in a good spot with Katelynn, for now. This week starts an "off" cycle for the antibiotics. We'd really appreciate any prayers that the swelling will stay down and her body can begin to fight this without the help of medication. She has been on and off antibiotics since October. Although it is working, I would love to give her little body a break. The spot with the swelling still looks rough, but I'm so thankful this journey is not when she can remember it. 

She is still very happy and doing all the things a little 14 month old does. She loves to take baths, watch her dogs every move, pick up my phone and talk to dada.... we are so blessed by a very happy happy girl. She loves to put on any toy that fits on her arm as a "bracelet" and if you put any jewelry on her, she just lights up. She is a girlie girl through and through. She can tell you a doggie says "woof woof" and we are working on what a bear says. She pretty much talks nonstop, we just don't know what she is saying yet.  She loves mickey mouse and points and talks to the tv anytime she watches it. She is very excited to be back with her friends at daycare. Being home over the break, mommy being sick, then having to work from home was torture for her. She was so bored. She is a great eater, but still is hanging out right over 20 pounds. She still refuses to walk without holding on and gets offended we talk about it so much..... What a joy!