If.... Then.

Man, first blog since February!!! I thought about writing so many times, and I still need to write out Luke’s birth story…. However, each time I sat down to write, I was overwhelmed with my inability to put into words how we were all doing. As most of you have seen, I have the cutest two kids on the planet who are doing amazing and growing big and strong. But, Team Bivins has just been in a hard season. And by a hard season, I mean a season of suck. I don’t really know how else to explain it. I’ve gone back and forth with feeling completely at peace in the suck, to being so over it and frustrated. I feel like my words are ready, so here is our Team Bivins Update.

Katelynn: Katelynn has been doing amazing. We recently worked on one of her scars a little bit and pulled out some tissue that was preventing her from healing. It was rough, but it’s looking so much better. She still has an affected lip, but I’m still praying for it! The challenge we’ve experienced recently is re-occurring ear infections. Since we finally got her off antibiotics, she’s had them non-stop. We are going back to our friendly ENT next week to discuss tubes. I hate the thought of it only because she is still so sensitive to doctors and genuinely terrified. I’m praying we can fix the issue and be DONE for a while. More than anything, I want her to get a break. She has adjusted to life with her “bubu” so well! I’m proud of her and love her sweet, gentle spirit. She is very quiet and gets shy, but when she warms up to you she wants to do all the things!!!

Luke: What a GOOD baby! He smiles nonstop and is the light of my life. The first month and a half of his life was pretty rough. He had silent reflux and would scream uncontrollably in pain. It was a struggle to determine why, get the right sleeping positions, beg for a little calm and feel so sad that he was miserable. We put him on medication and it’s improved so much. I am unable to eat dairy or soy due to his sensitivities, so that has been a challenge. But, little boy is worth it!

Adam:  It’s been a tough year to be in oil. However, God has provided for us in so many ways during lulls. Adam started feeling sick a little after Katelynn’s surgery. The feeling persisted to become very painful. He would have weekends where he could barely stand to get out of bed- right around the time we brought Luke home. When Luke was 2 weeks old, he had a scope to try to determine why he had pain. He then had additional testing and they determined his gallbladder needed to be removed. About a month ago, Adam had surgery to remove it. It has been SO wonderful. It was very difficult to have him so sick with a sick newborn. He is slowly gaining back strength and working to gain back some of the 40 pounds he lost.

Me: I am doing well and work is going great. Transitioning back was difficult, but I basically work with the best people on the planet. I have struggled some with having babies so close together and recovering from another c section, but am making it one day at a time. This week I’ve had a few complications and will probably have to have surgery soon to correct an errant birth control device.

Did you keep up? That is a running tally of 3 surgeries in 6 months (possibly 2 more on the way) a fussy toddler, a sick kid, a sick husband, work challenges, medical bills and a hormonal wife. What a ride.

Last night in our girls Bible study we were watching a video from Beth Moore around the story of Esther. She was teaching on the idea that we have fears that overwhelm us in our thinking. We live our lives thinking “If (Insert terrible thing here) happens, then (Oh no terrible response)” I have been and am so guilty of thinking those thoughts. Of being human and thinking God is faithful and everything is ok because it will all be okay in the end. Well, true…. But, what happens when it’s really hard along the way? I’m figuring that out day by day. I’m being thankful for the little things. For our ability to look to his promises when we keep getting frustrating situations, for family who is so supportive and has saved our tail so many times, for Sheena living here for the summer and being an extra set of hands. I’m learning a ton about him, about myself and learning to accept where we are. I've thought so many times... "Sheesh, what else can go wrong" (I've stopped that scary question). But truly the answer is "If (Insert terrible thing here) happens, then GOD". The end.

“Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

GREAT is thy Faithfulness”